One more thing. My math teachers were never very good at math. I ran circles around all of them. Public or even private education is NO guarantee of excellence, so don’t worry too much about “gaps” in education. If you expect to know everything you need to know by graduation, you’re in for one heck of a shock.

I was public schooled from beginning to end. I loved it. I did fairly well. My brother hated it. He didn’t do well, though not because he wasn’t bright. He was TOO bright for his classes, and he hated work and didn’t do it. Also, socially, I loved it, he hated it. He was picked on, tormented, and isolated. I was never the most popular girl, but I had enough friends and fun to keep me happy. You can see the extremes for two similarly bright and equivocally parented children – even within the same family. I agree that location and teaching style aren’t the only factors that play in socialization. Personality is a part of it, too.

As an adult, I have three children – six, three, and one. As much as I enjoyed public school, I homeschool. There are many reasons why. I am not perfect at it, and I am learning how to make things best work together, and socialization is definitely on our priority list. My children do enjoy homeschool, and I’m sure they would equally enjoy public school. But I choose to school them here at home because of our reasons. 1.) I want to teach them through the lens of Christianity – science as how God created it, history as how God ordained it, etc. 2.) I want to be the one to pass on knowledge to my children, I want to be that intimately involved in their learning and growing processes. 3.) I want the ability to adjust learning rate and style to meet the needs of my children. 4.) I don’t want my children exposed to certain ideas and information until they are emotionally and mentally ready to grasp, understand, and process them each. Most importantly, I feel it is what God has asked of me, and I want to obey God’s call.

None-the-less, I don’t feel there is one certain mold that children learn by. For some families, home-schooling is a good choice. For others it is public school. Some children need the environment of public school to thrive, for others it is the home school environment. Because of this, it is difficult and incorrect to make sweeping statements about either schooling avenue,whether positive or negative. One cannot pass judgment on either system based on one success story or one failure.

I suppose my punchline would be: keep an open mind, be actively involved in your children’s lives, find what is best for your children, do what God has called you to do, and don’t listen to those who would berate you for your decision.

As it happens, my son is on the introverted side. He’s not shy, he’s just happy to spend time by himself. There’s a natural tension between me wanting him to experience new people and places and letting him spend time on his own. But at least he’s not in high school feeling like he’s some sort of outcast because he doesn’t want to hang out with the crowd.

As counterpoint, two of my children (homeschooled) are natural extroverts, and can at age 4 and age 15 can make graceful conversation with anyone. My other kids are no slouches either, but it is obvious that these two just have a natural gift for loving social situations of any time, and finding a way to be confortable and make friends.

Many of the rest of us take years to learn similar skills.

Mary, mom to many

Children go through school with huge gapes in their knowledge, and this is considered normal. I didn’t learn about the branches of government until after I was married. I couldn’t have told you what was in The Constitution to save my life. I knew almost nothing about world history. I’m a horrible speller. I graduated with honors from both high school and college.

Sarah, I was wondering how much tv do you watch? Sometimes people want something that doesn’t exist, but is merely a creation of the media. Reality can never compete with fantasy. If you mentally compare your real life at home with life in tv-land, you will always be unhappy.

This fantasy of school doesn’t exist for anyone. The “popular” girls hate each other; drugs and promiscuity are the norm; most teachers are dull and don’t have training in the field they are teaching; bullying is a constant; you spend most of your energy worrying about how you look; homework is time consuming and often pointless; cheating is rampant; and so forth.

Children come with their own strengths and weaknesses. Homeschooling doesn’t make children shy or unsocial, that’s a function of personality. If you are an introvert, you are an introvert. Introverts can learn to fake it, but they will never feel like an extrovert. Social situations will always leave an introvert feeling drained. And remember, introverts are NOT broken extroverts. Introverts just have different needs than extroverts.

If as an adult you are feeling uncomfortable socially, the problem is you in the here and now, not your upbringing. If you didn’t learn the “social skills” as a child, than educate yourself and quit whining. Children at school don’t magically learn social skills. I went to public school and always felt like the odd man out. At 40 years old, I am finally comfortable in my own skin, and school had nothing to do with it.

Having said all that, homeschooling is not for every family. However, most functioning parents have more to offer their children than an institutionalized education provided by a government bureaucracy.

Do I sometimes feel awkward in certain settings? Yes, but I think it’s a rare person who never does. My own children are sometimes a bit too extroverted (not sure the clerk wanted to know your entire day’s schedule, dear…) but that’s a learning process too.

Anyway, my point is that I know very outgoing homeschoolers, and very introverted public schoolers, and yes, the opposite too.

I love a point a preacher friend made a few years ago; “Don’t kill me until you hear me out, but I believe all parents should be home schoolers. By that I don’t mean that all parents have to teach their children the three R’s in their home, but all parents need to be vitally involved in their child’s education.”

Again, I know of homeschooling families who really shouldn’t keep their kids home (though they’re few and far between) and of public school families who are doing their best for a good education for their family.

We must all make careful, wise choices, with full knowledge that there is no absolutely perfect educational method, because there are no perfect teachers, or perfect students! There will be “holes” somewhere in everyone’s learning and social processes, no matter where they go to school. But then, isn’t that part of what makes the world so interesting to live in? Just my 2 cents.

Most “socialization” in my public school was strongly discouraged. There are obviously a string of extra-curricular activities available, but they are available to homeschoolers as well. (Even through the school district in some areas).

My public school experience was mixed…most of what I really learned had nothing to do with the classroom. And the socialization issue was a bit of a joke. None of my friends were in my classes or my lunch hour.

Public school is also a lot different than it was ten years ago. Heck, our culture is a lot different than it was ten years ago.

Lastly, high school homeschooling is also changing dramatically. Most of the kids in our community use the local college or resource center for high school subjects. Many use virtual schools.

In any case, nobody’s childhood is perfect. So, isn’t the goal to do the best with what we have? I have confidence that parents, as a general rule, do this. Even if they aren’t perfect.

Texased, thanks for the thoughts on social skills. You definitely have interesting observationsa about it!